Archive for 'Emily'
Thursday, April 15th, 2010
Sometimes life is taxing–especially on April 15. It’s easy to focus on old struggles that still produce new setbacks, or even to indulge websites like FML.com with the sort of groaning acceptance that life does, indeed, stink. Sometimes it seems that way, but one of the best ways to get out of a funk is to think positively and serve others. Here are my happy thoughts for today. Tell me about yours.
1. I get my Aggie ring tomorrow.
2. The wildflowers in and around College Station (and across Texas) are out of this world.
3. I am dunking my ring in a pint of Ben and Jerry’s Cherry Garcia ice cream on Saturday.
4. I might get to work at YMCA Camp Grady Spruce again this summer.
5. The MSCC Visual Arts Committee held an art show last night that rocked my world.
6. Oranges make delicious breakfasts.
7. I’m finally making my very own t-shirt quilt and re-learning how to sew.
8. I have time to go on a walk around a gorgeous park every morning. It is sublime.
9. I’m wearing unmatching socks, and that makes me feel at least 10 years younger.
10. I have enough true blue, stick-by-me-through-anything friends of all ages to fill my right and left hand, and that is enough.
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Wednesday, March 10th, 2010
My brain is on overdrive and my heart is fried. The past month has been a whirlwind of traveling to Mexico City and Boston, having an enormous project fall through, parting ways with what once thrilled me (then nearly killed me) and learning that, even when everything feels wrong, there are whispers of justice and beauty speaking through the chaos. My ears may still be popping from the plane rides, so I can’t always hear that quiet voice of everlasting truth, but I’m listening, hoping and waiting. (more…)
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Wednesday, March 3rd, 2010
After months of seeing signs that I’d soon buckle under pressures I have long known how to manage yet for which struggled to find strength to conquer, I broke down (or “woman-ed up”) and went to the Student Counseling Service this morning.
Located in Cain Hall, my car spent almost 2 hours in 30 minute parking (luckily without a ticket) while I talked my heart and mind out. It felt good to unleash some truths I’ve been harboring that have held my spirit hostage for the past several months. Describing a compilation of concerns ranging from unsettled conflicts with former roommates to more recent struggles, I wondered, as I left, why I hadn’t used the service sooner. I thought: ”Students already pay for this through required fees; why not take advantage of the resources that are available?” And it didn’t hurt that I got a free cup of hot chocolate out of the deal.
(more…)
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Monday, March 1st, 2010
Leaving the Harvard campus and waiting on a subway to arrive, I listened as a man played his guitar and sang in the Boston underground. “Even though we ain’t got money, I’m so in love with you, Honey,” he crooned, and I nearly wept at the recollection of memories I hadn’t known I’d forgotten. (more…)
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Sunday, February 7th, 2010
While my schedule this semester hasn’t permitted as many trips to Mesquite as I would like, watching an interview with black country singer Darius Rucker turned into hymn night on the Grand Ole Opry last night–and I was home. Vince Gill said something about music speaking to him more than words and there–standing, alone in my living room, waiting to be picked up for a late movie–I felt as much peace as if the week hadn’t been hell. (more…)
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Wednesday, February 3rd, 2010
Something about rain sliding down the window sills right next to my bed makes me want to sleep all day. The minute I start thinking about designing another page of the magazine I’m working on, though, I am ready to go.
Many–if not all–of the people interviewed for this Influential Leaders of Aggieland edition of The Edge share that finding activities to be passionate about is the key to success. Dr. Marty Loudder, an associate dean at Mays, said to “find something that you wake up excited to do” or else resign to an unfulfilled life. While learning InDesign well enough to singlehandedly lay out 60 pages was not on my to-do list for the year, it brings me the same childlike joy that scrapbooking once did. It causes me to jump out of bed, run down stairs and logon to my computer before I’ve even brushed my teeth. (more…)
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Monday, January 18th, 2010
Man alive, I love a fresh start!
I’m taking classes toward my Social Studies 8-12 teaching certificate this semester (made possible by the University Studies Business degree plan, available here: unst.tamu.edu) and I would be hard pressed to muster more enthusiasm than I’ve got now. I am excited and my planner is in “go mode”.
Besides feeling smug about having a new box of laundry detergent, a full refrigerator of groceries and a clean wardrobe/bedroom, an issue of The Edge magazine is now online (here: 
http://issuu.com/businessstudentcouncil/docs/edgewinter0910) and, more importantly, off my mind. (more…)
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Wednesday, January 6th, 2010
MAY I ALWAYS BE BRAVE (AND LIKE IT).
“Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life – well, valuable, but small – and sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven’t been brave?” -Kathleen Kelly, You’ve Got Mail
MAY THE LIFE I LEAD REFLECT MY UNIQUE PERSPECTIVE AND VOICE.
“So much of what I see reminds me of something I’ve seen in books, when shouldn’t it be the other way around?” -Kathleen Kelly, You’ve Got Mail
MAY MY DELIBERATIONS AND DECISIONS IMPACT MORE THAN A CUP OF JOE.
“The whole purpose of places like Starbucks is for people with no decision-making ability whatsoever to make six decisions just to buy one cup of coffee. Short, tall, light, dark, caf, decaf, low-fat, non-fat, etc. So people who don’t know what the hell they’re doing or who on earth they are can, for only $2.95, get not just a cup of coffee but an absolutely defining sense of self: Tall. Decaf. Cappuccino.” -Joe Fox, You’ve Got Mail
MAY I REMEMBER THE PAST AS I’M SHUFFLED INTO THE FUTURE.
“People are always saying that change is a good thing. But all they’re really saying is that something you didn’t want to happen at all… has happened. My store is closing this week. I own a store, did I ever tell you that? It’s a lovely store, and in a week it’ll be something really depressing, like a Baby Gap. Soon, it’ll be just a memory. In fact, someone, some foolish person, will probably think it’s a tribute to this city, the way it keeps changing on you, the way you can never count on it, or something. I know because that’s the sort of thing I’m always saying. But the truth is… I’m heartbroken. I feel as if a part of me has died, and my mother has died all over again, and no one can ever make it right. ” -Kathleen Kelly, You’ve Got Mail
MAY I NEVER HIDE BEHIND A COLD DISREGARD FOR PEOPLE.
Joe Fox: It wasn’t… personal.
Kathleen Kelly: What is that supposed to mean? I am so sick of that. All that means is that it wasn’t personal to you. But it was personal to me. It’s *personal* to a lot of people. And what’s so wrong with being personal, anyway?
Joe Fox: Uh, nothing.
Kathleen Kelly: Whatever else anything is, it ought to begin by being personal.
MAY I CHOOSE TO BE REMEMBERED BY MY FULL NAME.
”Joe”? “Just call me Joe”? As if you were one of those stupid 22-year old girls with no last name? “Hi, I’m Kimberly!” “Hi, I’m Janice!” Don’t they know you’re supposed to have a last name? It’s like they’re an entire generation of cocktail waitresses.” -Kathleen Kelly, You’ve Got Mail
MAY FAITH BE MY ARMOR AS I ‘MARCH INTO THE UNKNOWN.’
“You are daring to imagine that you could have a different life. Oh, I know it doesn’t feel like that. You feel like a big fat failure now. But you’re not. You are marching into the unknown armed with… Nothing. Have a sandwich.” -Birdie Conrad, You’ve Got Mail
MAY TRUTH DEFEND ME SO ZINGERS AREN’T REQUIRED. (WELL, MAYBE JUST ONE.)
Joe Fox: [talking via email to "Shopgirl"] Do you ever feel you’ve become the worst version of yourself? That a Pandora’s box of all the secret, hateful parts – your arrogance, your spite, your condescension – has sprung open? Someone upsets you and instead of smiling and walking away, you zing them? “Hello, it’s Mr Nasty.” I’m sure you have no idea what I’m talking about.
Kathleen Kelly: [talking via email to "NY152"] No, I know exactly what you mean, and I’m completely jealous. What happens to me when I’m provoked is that I get tongue-tied and my mind goes blank. Then I spend all night tossing and turning trying to figure out what I should have said. What should I have said, for example, to a bottom dweller who recently belittled my existence?
[stops and thinks]
Kathleen Kelly: Nothing. Even now, days later, I can’t figure it out.
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Tuesday, December 8th, 2009
I’m not interested in losing hope or listing reasons why life is “so hard”, but this semester has been a lesson in taking the good with the bad—letting wheat and chaff grow side by side until the end, when all that remains is good.
“Wheat” has grown in the form of a boyfriend and roommates who care for me relentlessly. My family remains supportive, my grades are better now than they have been since my first semester in college and I have had some unique opportunities to do things like interview a CEO, talk with campus leaders I admire and inspire at least a few people to dream deeper, wider dreams before making them 3D. I got to be a teacher for a month. I learned to produce a magazine. I wrote the foreword to my all-time favorite teacher’s long-awaited book. I have seen the fruits of love I invested years ago; some never know that feeling. These things feed and fuel me. (more…)
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Monday, December 7th, 2009
Cold weather and Christmas carols let me know that another holiday is around the corner. I am so excited to finish a semester of school, put the finishing touches on an issue of The Edge and curl up in my ugliest old t-shirts in front of the fireplace at home.
I’ve read more and written more this semester than any since probably 5th grade, when I first started keeping a diary and felt that I’d betrayed it every third minute I left it untouched. There’s still a certain charm, for me, when I can scribble the most absurd of thoughts onto the pages of well, anything. My mind is so inquisitive, still, like a child, asking, “Why? Why? Why?” until I’ve dizzied it into sleep. Getting all of those, “Why?”s out on paper keeps me sane–keeps me from revisiting the same ten thousand questions every evening–keeps me wanting to learn something new instead of the same old lessons I recite to the world every day. (more…)
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