maysblog

Today after lunch I received a text message that read:

do u want to be in my acct rap video?

Of course, I responded:

heck yes

At three o’clock this afternoon, myself and about eight other people sagged our pants, adorned our best beanies and stepped out in our Air Force Ones to star in the best Final Accounting Project ACCT 327 has ever seen.

I’m not actually in the class, but the assignment was to present an article review on FAS 159… which to my clever friends meant write a rap song, make a music video!

I must say, we must have looked ridiculous to the passer-bys as we got crunk in front of E. King Gill and eventually on the 50 yard line of Kyle Field.

We even elevated ourselves to celebrity status; Denzel Bowles was a great sport and agreed to appear in our music video.

I attended the premiere this morning and convinced my investment banker friend Zach to attend. The classroom (Wehner 104) is quite small and cozy, so our additions to the class had not gone unnoticed.

Everyone was impressed, including myself. The lyrics are truly remarkable. The background dancers are superb. And the video editing… impressive.

The Lyrics:
50 Cent, J-Timberlake, Jay-Z, the girl Beyonce
Kanye, Luda, Timbaland
They’re not in this but it’s still throwed, it’s still throwed, it’s still throwed

Chorus:
Yo it’s FAS 159
Morgan Stanley, Lehman Brothers
Getting on the grind
Goldman Sachs, no I ain’t done yet
Jed is telling me
That you’re marking down your debt
Credit worsens
And the risk goes up
Market value of the debt goes down wassup
Recording gains
Because of less debt
FAS 159
It’s legitimate

Verse 1:
Lazy Friday wake up in the late afternoon
Call my homie Ryan just to see what he’s doing
I’m putting on my tie, next my dress shoes
September 21, yeah that’s trufe

I’m reading Wall Street Journal, it’s filling up my mind
We should go to Double Dave’s cause it’s lunch time
Travis, just look this article is wack
FAS 159 this thing on crack

Morgan Stanley, Lehman Brothers, and Goldman Sachs
They’re recording at fair value, not at GAAP
Call the police, call the army
FAS 159 gets em outta jail free

Dude, Ryan, this article is dope
They marking down they debt don’t drop the soap
They making it look like they business is hot
They recording gains when they ain’t making a lot

It’s misleading what they doing, they foolin all them fools
Stockholders gettin punked but they ain’t breaking no rules
Quarterly earnings need to look tighter
Use 159 to “make them shine brighter”

Morgan be booking 390 mill
20 per cent of its 3rd quarter bill
FAS 159 yeah at its best
They making money cause they owe less

Verse 2:
This ain’t no puppet show, and we ain’t no wiz
But we did get fives, on our last quiz
When I signed up, I knew it’d be a fight
Specially when I heard that the prof was Shannon Knight
Of the presentations ours was the best
Crank dat Soulja Boy we Supermanned our test

Oh, how I love the marriage of two unlikely aspects of our collegiate culture…