maysblog

Sometimes it’s easy to forget how lucky we are just to be walking around. We tend to stress about getting A’s in classes, when a B or even a C won’t be the end of the world, or worry about getting the perfect job when our backup is still pretty great. The things that we really need, like having a roof over our heads, clothes on our backs, food in our stomachs, and our health we relegate to the bottom of our priority lists, only worrying about them if something goes wrong.

I had to worry about these things this weekend. Late Friday night, around 1:30 a.m., I received a text message from my mom: “Your dad’s having an appendectomy. Going to Fort Worth.” Immediately, I tried to call her, but couldn’t get a response. After trying several more times, I called my sister. All she could tell me was that my parents had to go to Fort Worth, but she didn’t really know anything.

Nothing is more terrifying than knowing something is wrong, but not knowing everything. As the night progressed, I finally got some more information, but waiting for it was not pleasant, let me tell you. Turns out my dad started having pains earlier in the evening and, being a doctor himself, knew pretty much what it was. However, being the man that my father is, he didn’t go into the ER until he was finished with work. Anyway, he just needed a regular appendectomy; he had the surgery early Saturday morning with no big complications and went home from the hospital the next day. It just really freaked me out; one day my dad was totally fine, walking around, everything great. The next thing I know, he’s in the hospital.

I realize appendicitis is not a scary thing; most of the people I know have had their appendixes (appendices?) out, but it was the rapid change in health that threw me. All of Saturday, I sat by my phone, convinced that someone else was going to call me and let me know that some awful tragedy had befallen someone that I love. Of course, this doesn’t make any rational sense, but when it comes to people that we love, do any of us function within the realm of rationality? I certainly don’t. When it comes to those I love, I more often visit the lands of paranoia, emotion, and suspicion. It’s almost as though I want to come to a negative conclusion on my own before someone can beat me to it—if I can do that, then maybe the fallout won’t be so bad.

Of course, my dad is fine now. He’s back at work, grumpy at the attention given to him for being less than invincible. I’m better, too, just more aware than I was before about the fragility of all of our current states. It is much more difficult than any of us think to just make it through the day. As we go into finals, for some of us our last, maybe it will help the stress levels to just push for making it safely home; the rest is just part of life.